Reluctantly, I have to admit that it has been a while since my last blog entry, mainly because I’ve recently moved house. It’s common knowledge that moving home is generally recognised as one of the most stressful life events you will ever experience – my move has been no different.

However, what I’m surprised to find is that extended broad band disconnection doesn’t even feature as a stressful life event… not even top 100! As you can imagine, I was amazed to be told by a reputable telecommunication service provider (the name of which will not be disclosed to protect the innocent untimely) that I wouldn’t be reconnected for… wait for it… half month!

Were they laying a telephone line from the moon to my house or what!? As the cold sweat set in I couldn’t help but wonder – what the heck was I going to do for two weeks??

Time with the Mrs
After I got over the initial shock of the disconnection, I thought to myself – “You know what? I’m gonna spend some time with the Mrs and watch a bit of TV.” So I turned off my computer, headed of my room, down the stairs and plonked myself on the sofa next to the Mrs. It’s gotta be said that she watches a load of dribble most of the time… but… in the name of sociability I’ll give it a try.
“So…”
“Babe… I don’t talk to you while you’re playing that racing game.”What an insult!”

“It’s not a game it’s sim…”
“Shhhhh! Why don’t you go read a book or something? My programmes will be finished in an hour or so.”
In summary, the dialogue quickly degenerated into heated discussion, which escalated into an argument about something completely trivial and unrelated.
Ah yes! It’s all coming back to me now… that’s why I don’t watch TV with her.

See the mates
I dropped in on a friend the following night – I couldn’t do with another argument with the Mrs and the neighbours would think we were nutcases if we made the same racket every night.
His door opened and he peered round sheepishly.
“Everything alright at home mate?”
Great! I’m so unsociable that my own mates think something is up when I go to see them. I proceeded to tell him that my internet had been disconnected for two weeks and I couldn’t race online. All I received was a blank look.
We played Need For Speed on his Xbox 360 (other brands available) for about an hour or so. How Electronic Arts has the audacity to call this a racing game defies belief! Not to be ungrateful – after all, I think he was trying to make me feel better – but playing NFS after a year of iRacing, was like swapping my Renault Clio for a for my nephew’s BMW M3!

See the folks
That’s it! I can’t take any more! Not even half way… I must take action! So, in a moment of inspiration, I took my rig apart, packed it into the car and set off the see my folks. Yeeeeees! Why didn’t I think of this sooner? My old man has a fibre optic connection as well. SCHUWEEEEET!!
“Hi mum!”
“Don’t even think of bringing that thing in here. I’ve got enough crap in this house with your dad’s stuff everywhere”
“Bu…”
“Don’t… even… think about it Mr.”
Denied salvation by my own mother….. Argh! The boredom was excruciating!!

Staying Late In The Office
It’s come to this then has it? I’m staying late at work just to get my fix.
“Nathan, can you come into my office please.”
CRAP! The boss has called me in. What have I forgotten do??? Think, think, think!
“Nathan, a few of us have noticed you’ve not quite been yourself lately. You’re spending quite a lot of time here and… well… we’re not that busy. Is everything ok at home?”
… Oh… my… good god. Even my boss thinks something’s up. I couldn’t help but notice her attempts to suppress a laugh when I explained the reason I was moping around the office and working late.
“I see. Well <ahem>… I’m sure it’s not the end of the world. As long as you’re ok – shut the door behind you on your way out.”
She never shuts her door! Great, now she having a chuckle behind closed doors at my expense. I like surfing the web and sim-racing… so shoot me!

Connection
When the router arrived it was like Christmas day! I ripped the packaging off, hooked it all up and bam! I was online! And breathe. “I love you internet… let’s never fight again.”
That was the end of quite possibly the most traumatic fortnight I can remember! So iRacers, thanks for listening – it’s been emotional. We will be back to regular viewing in my next post, see you then.

Movember
Before you all leave, please read on for a little bit more.
We’re rapidly approaching the month of Movember – check it out http://www.movember.com/. Movember is the one month of the year where men from all over the world come together and grow their moustaches in the name of charity.
•    Chances of winning the UK lottery – 1 in 14,000,000
•    Chances of getting struck by lightning – 1 in 1,000,000
•    Chance of dating a supermodel – 1 in 88,000,000
•    Chances of getting a hole in one – 1 in 5,000
•    Chances of catching the ball at a major league game – 1 in 563
•    Chances of an IRS audit you – 1 in 175
•    Chances of getting Flu this year – 1 in 10
•    Chance of developing Prostate Cancer – 1 in 6… ouch!
Guys and gals – Take a look at the site. Sponsor or be sponsored. Guys grow your tashes, girls stop using Imac (sorry, couldn’t resist). Get involved! Together we can kick Prostate Cancer in the balls!

 

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No Comments

Loved every single line of this! 😀
I so recognize every single little bit in it (which scares me a bit) 🙂

/D

DanS
October 30th, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Love it, every single line is spot on!

Scary…

Anonymous
October 30th, 2012 at 2:54 pm

anyway, iracing is a game, nothing more.

ultrabonz
October 30th, 2012 at 9:00 pm

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